Tears I never wanted.

I didn't know that I contained so much tears within me.
My first.
The one and only time I cried so much. The one and only time that I cried for 3 whole hours. When the news got to my ears in the middle of the night, I just couldn't believe it. Hit me, Slap me. I hoped that it was a dream.

/start.
Why now? Of all time now? Why? You were joking with me few days ago about my school's principal to extend how young you still were.
Reality does it all as I drench myself in tears.
Certainly, I didn't want to accept anything and everything those people told me.
When I saw you, you were there. You are always there for me. For everyone you love. Suddenly, I'm guilty for pretending to stay strong in front of everyone else for a whole 2 solid hours.
When I stepped out of the building, I broke down.
So sorry that I couldn't stay strong, strong enough to not let you see me cry.
So sorry that couldn't fake a smile even at the last minute.
I may be dumb at times, even now. I must be kidding myself.You couldn't possibly see me cry, but I know you did.
I felt weak all the sudden.
You're not there anymore any longer to guide me , to laugh at me, to help me keep secrets, to make me feel safe. I'm totally like a lost mice.

You had to go, and I'm not forgiving you for not saying a goodbye even I know you wanted to, not forgiving you for making me cry. I'm not forgiving you for leaving without sharing the things that you wanted to.
You are so un-forgiven.
There will not be anymore next time with you, even if I wanted.

But i still want to thank you.
Thank you for giving me so much memories.
Thank you for guiding me.
Thank you for celebrating my birthday with me.
Thank you for your birthday gift.
Thank you for sharing your stories with me.

Remember the times we played with the candles while we're young?So many. Remember?
Please bring these memories along, don't leave it all behind for me to contain. I just couldn't.
Lastly, I thank you very much. No one in this world can disturb you from your slumber sleep,so sleep and rest well.
I love you. Everyone loves you and bring it all together with you on the journey you're going to embark on.
goodbye.
/end.

Probably, I wouldn't be going to school tomorrow. I got a hang of myself.
I'm feeling so much better.
The masters are going to do some sort of ritual kind of things tomorrow. yeah.
So sorry jiejie and meimei in school. Couldn't acc. you guys tomorrow.
This is going to be the worst Hari Raya holiday I'm getting. Talk about luck.
*sigh*

F1 Results!

Alonso won!
He looked COOL~ ><
And. I won my bet. laughs.
It does look kind of dumb to place bet on him when he had a 15th placing for the start.
But i did it before the qualifying rounds. ;D
Anyway, he did great sustaining his standard at the back portion.
On the other hand, Massa really had to be brought from heaven to hell. Whoops.
My brother and brother was practically screaming at the television.
If not for the Safety Car.
If its not for the technical problems . Pitstop blunder.
Comeon, from first to last? It's sort of ridiculous.
He'll do better next round. I dont see any reason he wouldnt be in the top three if those didn't happen.
Not forgetting the golden moments... ...
One of them was when Massa nearly hit the bend, he did a quicky turn and head back into the tracks. The next moment, A Force India's driver didnt expect his turn and went heads-on hitting on the bend.
Stunned.
The other one would be when Kimi Rai skid and hit the bend.
He's always the one who have to back-out at the last few rounds. Such a pity. Haha!
Lastly, its Alonso who went for his pitstop which was a fast 6.6 seconds and joined back on the tracks with a ranking of 2nd to 5th position. ( Was it Alonso? Or Kimi Rai? Hmmm..)
Anyway. F1's Over. And I'm facing another O. Sheesh.
Gotta buck up and blog lesser.
I'm using my study-nono time to do this. laughs.
Offically, 10pm is my study-nono. Hopefully. * gulps*
Before 10 will be " get your butts moving" time. ;D
Weeeeeee-----------------------
Sleep people! Sleep! Goodnight! (:

F1 Race

Qualifying race for the F1 race was spectacular.
For me , it contained lots of surprises.
After watching, it sure had me pinpointing and start rambling about this and that.
Alonso screwed up his qualifying race ending with a disappointing 15th place. argh.
Then Massa clinched Singapore's pole, followed by Hamilton then Kimi.
A day ago when I saw the news about the racers' final practice, Alonso piped Hamilton.
I wasn't expecting something so drastic here.
When I was following closely, it just struck me when his car stopped.
Fuel Supplying problems I think.
What a waste. He's mad as well, he could be seen clutching his head in fury.
The race ended like an hour ago, and I did a search for the qualifying round report, hoping to find out more on Alonso's unexpected stop. I found one. Only ONE report.
Look how realistic it can get, reports were so vague and just brushed it off by stating that it wasn't his day or so. Sheesh... ... He could be well in the top 5 if not for the fuel problem.
Oh well, all the best to him for the remaining ones.
Even if this race is screwed up, even of this whole championship is screwed up, we cant deny the fact that he actually could come up the fastest during the practice with such a bumpy and unfamiliar street circuit. Thumbs up for him!
Keep going on yeah! (:
Singapore's street circuit sure is bumpy and tough.
Looking on the brighter side, Singaporeans and many fans out there are expecting something more from the racers tomorrow. Let the F1 fever engulf everyone!
I'm getting so excited here. Ha ha.
I've been watching and following every race closely mates!
I've requested Dad to help me place bets for this race. Hmm. I'm not expecting from my predictions though.
Anyway, I'm hoping Dad could bring us out tomorrow for dinner. I'm getting all piped up imagining myself in the crowd. Kind of excited here~
I'm predicting something as well.
I'll just dump my books in a corner, ignore them and engage myself in the race. Until then, I'll be able to get to my book totally.
F1 is such a huge distraction for me. Comeon Nichole.
Focus!
First, I shall get myself to watch some videos first then off to bed I go. Bye!

Pizza Hut Hunt.!

School is a fresh new day today!
In the morning, it welcomed me with a refreshing smell of the rain.It felt great.
I really hope it rain for a few days continuously, it felt so great after days of torture under the infernal sun.
Okay. It ain't that SERIOUS~
But it's the worst I've seen. You can say that I am one who hasn't seen the world yet, and you're right anyway :p
I just love the rain in Singapore. Regardless of the intensity of it, be it a lil drizzle or a huge thunderstorm.
Anyway, back to school, Ms Seeto isn't here.
This is REAL miracle.Gosh. A few times in a lifetime.fine, two years of teaching with us. :)
School nowadays is more of like a self-study area.
I mean how many teachers came today for us or me?
two? three? and how many actually did stand down right in front and gave a lecture?
Yes. Our one and only Mr Lam.
All with the 'situational writing is the easiest to score' talk all along for hell knows how long? laughs.
Special Mention: Sellek and WeiJian
Sellek's just being irritating that's all. haha. I mean in a fun way. Not that kind of ihateyou irritating.
WeiJian's just being kind and returned Sr's library book that she left in class. It's Fun-ney.

So, today, went out with Shirui, YingSiew and YuHui.
Saw a few seniors on the way.
Pizza Hut. I had 5 refills please? and ys had 6 i think.
However, i ate more than her. *laughs hysterically*
So sorry for the sudden manner, that's ys's signature laughter when she's mad by the way.
You'll never imagine how hysterical she can be until you meet her. understand and most importantly see for yourself.
I bet you won't regret. Ha ha.
So we sat down at pizza hut for like hours. I have no idea exactly how long. But long enough to see a few customers who came way later than us leave.
anyway, it Loooooooooong.
They were competing who could finish the most cups of Pepsi.huh?!?
In the end, I was dragged into it.
Anyway, i just wanted to drink, not like i wanted to compete or what. It's definitely fun!
Ys was in a condition that she could walk like a chimp.
Give it a try. Drink 6 cups of pepsi. In addition,1 pan pizza of your very own plus 2 chicken wings. Now, hunch your back with your bag on and walk like that the whole day. That's was hw she felt.
Sr? As usual, her laughter attracted people's attention.
And i was sitting INFRONT of her.
I'm practically in the DANGER zone.
You've might not have tried before, but she'll be the driest and you'll be the wettest.
Well, I was lucky enough to escape that for today.
YuHui and I just entertained and be entertained.
Walked more and searched for Zhihui's present.
Gosh! It's a Doreamon Pillow. GOODLUCK Zhihui!
Not to mention she's lucky enough that she wont have to bring that thing around Jurong point.
It's the ultimate embarrasment.
A week ago or so, this bunch of girls presented me the ultimate, memorable gift.
... ...
Bolster.
Career Fair was on that same day and I was like a dumb kid hugging her bolster.
My very habit is that i tend to hug on the things i hold on my hands. Well, provided it's hugg-able. (:
Moreover, i had to meet mum that day at Jurong Point.
There was one junior beside who said to his friend:" Aiyo. So Big already still carry bolster around."
There was another who had similar comments.
Lastly, mum made a comment in a joking manner," Give me the names of the people who gave you this present!"
It's a fun and memorable week with friends and family.
Learn to treasure every precious moment you have with them. (:

Oh. Not forget to 'THANK' kel and dean for that memorable meetup aye.
'THANK YOU VERY MUCH.' ==

News News News!

I turned off my mugging mode for a moment, just to give myself a short little break.
Comeon' Physics Kill. Thermal Transfer of Heat is the deadly killer. And that's the next chapter I have to handle.
It reminds me of the times the trainee teacher taught us this chapter.
Disastrous.Perhaps we were too stringent of her. I mean, she's a trainee after all.
But the aftereffect is... okay... not that good.
Go on. Go ask a few in my class and you'll understand how reluctant they are to even start on this chapter. For me, I'll skip this as much as I can.
Despite knowing how much it costs me for not touching that chapter and it being always in Section B of Paper Two, I'll still skip it.
There goes a saying"Leopard never changes its spots."
Guess 'leopard does changes it's spot' cause I'm going to do that chapter after i finish my blogging here.Serious.

Anyway,my default homepage is yahoo. You know, they like to place the new information on the front page and stuffs?
Yeah. I totally need that.
What's happening to the World right now?
It's in such a mess.Totally.
There was this article about a woman in San Francisco who had to extend her jail term because the supreme court reviewed her case and felt that her initial stated jail term of four years was too short.
This is the most amazing part: She got jailed because of her dog.
That dog mauled her neighbour ending up with 70 over bites.
I was flabbergasted!
Well, this is certainly a two-sided thing . But the article mentioned parts about dogs being held at a higher regard than humans.
Well, I don't see anything wrong in here if you don't kill humans because you think that they are inferior.
For me, I personally feel that we should respect all the living kind on Earth.
Be it Dog or human.
Like it or not, we are all part of this world.
Everyone has their own religion ,philosophy and many, yet, to live in harmony, it's so difficult due to the different aspects of beliefs.
It's a hard question.
At times, we're like always contradicting ourselves by picking up various skills when these skills teach us to ask when in doubt or we have to live in harmony where everyone have to have a global perspective, exploratory in outlook... ...
Yet, how many actually do? How many actually live in harmony?
How do you define harmony?
By means of harmony, do you mean just staying side by side to one another and have a ' we mind our own business' attitude?
Well if that is, then let me tell you.
I would find those countries who openly voice their opinions disregard of their social status of the concerning matter they want to raise more ' living in harmony'.
Look, in Singapore, you dont find that much though. Speaker corners with no speakers.
It's more of a technologised world, maybe those corners arent that useful for the modern day like now, so I really would like to commend on our government efforts to bring it thus far,opening up the internet as an option for people to voice their opinions is a rather wise choice.
Yet, on the news the other day, they just reported how much of this option being barely used.
So, i've come to my point, people like me prefer our blogs and own forums better.
So many people in Singapore are using the net to check so many stuffs,people like my mum who check the condominium forum for the new updates everyday? There is more.
It's still a question though. A hard question to solve.
Laughs. It's more than just a mathematician standing a the gambling table to measure out the probability.

Hospitals!

Back from hospital!
Finally.
Wasn't in school since Friday.
Gosh. I miss school.
Anyway, I've cleared my doctor appointments, meaning I won't have to see them until December.
Yep. After 'O's. ain't that great?
Well at least I feel it is.
It's a bore and tiring to see doctors. Especially when you have to do this and that. Yeah. You know.
WAIT for doctors. huh. How fun can it get. I mean... ... How fun. As in .......okay. Not fun.
Anyway, I have no idea what I've missed today.
Wait till tomorrow. laughs.
I'll be a blind mice. LOST.
Nevermind. Even though i didn't go school, i managed to force myself to write 2 essays for Ms Tang to mark.
Woah. I actually did that.
Take it as something to makeup for not going to school.
But it's not like i want to see the doctors. ;D
yeahyeah. I downloaded the firefox version. It's quite fast.
Except that i have to familiarize with the buttons.
It's weird with it all over the place, but it doesn't matter.
What it does is F.A.S.T.
I dont want slow syndrome. NONO.
No WeiJian! -Sorry ;p laughs. -

Exams

Some say it's a challenge to yourself...
Hope I'll be like this for the next few weeks ;D

Comeon' Exam fever.

Prelims ended and results taken.

Seriously, so disappointed with my SS and E.Geog. English ( At first =/, i didnt fail this though. haha)

I failed it.

What's wrong with me? Cant I write any faster.?

Shit! Slow syndrome!. I Dont want it. Shooooooooooo!9 marks blank!

And! Cock-eye syndrome.

*bangs on the wall*

I didnt even see the SS venice question until the teacher said stop and put your pens down.

My heart sank. =/

This is call: Professional

I was so totally prepared for the essay question on Venice since I know my source-based aint that great.

So I empty-mindedly did on globalisation, which I prepared nothing but only a few mintues before the test.

I suck at source-based, that's why essay is my saviour. Bascially to know how bad i am in my source-based just look at the marks. -duh!- ==

But well, i scored higher on something that I prepared last mintue than something i've always been practising on for all this while.

And! prelims is there only to let me find that it aint my saviour due to my carelessness.

No. Perhaps it is.

Wait. I should just go find Ms tang and seekfor help for my source-based. seriously.

E Geog. It's Even better.

Setto doesnt want to give me marks.

Effectiveness of river protection.

Hur. I wrote gabions and stuffs. Guess. It 0 marks.

I wrote 1 full page. Okay. so it's not about quantity but it's quality.

Besides, she wrote," What is Gabion?"

I.was.stuned. Comeon. check the textbook, it's in there.

It's like what they always say.

So... ... I have to explain what is gabion before I can continue?

I so learnt my lesson.!

This is never going to happen another time.

English.... hmmm.

When i got to know my marks, i was disappointed.

Yet, when I heard Mr Lam say the marks, I didnt feel that bad already.

I mean, our class together didnt do too well.

and many failed, so... ... look on the bright side people. ;D

Since i didnt, I am to be disappointed but not in front of them.Some already feel bad enough.

Cheer up and look forward. The O level SHOULD be and WILL be better (; Smile!

Since Ikindof found my motivation.

I will work towards it.

I know it's a very difficult path. But i dont care, I still want to try.

At least I knewi tried. ;D

So random. But suddenly feel like dancing.!

DANCE. i wanna dance!

Long Long Way...

I've A Long Long Way to go.Wake up.

Today's Lantern Festival!

If you want, then Mooncake festival.

And tomorrow's school. The dreaded day!?!

I sorta found my motivation. And i'm seeing it everyday.

I'm contented. ;D

Bring It On; Natural Vegetation.

- Equatorial Rainforest.

- Monsoon Forest.

Smile Always (:

What a Day~

Some Random Picture First! (:


Dean wrote this.! It's blurry!It's sweet but yeah. What else can your friend say anyway. ;)

Orange bed! -loves!-

It's Daim's Week!

YAY!

I'm totally addicted to Ikea. Daims and the new furniture I saw today.

It's not mine now. But it'll be, for the furniture. *laughs hysterically*

Today, finally, i got out of my study mode and accompanied mum and dad, with my brother, to IFC.( International Furtniture Mall)

Please tell me I'm wrong, but i think they are pretty excited about the move-over to the new apartment next year.

Well, i dont see any harm in it though. The thing is that I benefit. *laughs hysterically-again-*

No more 3 storeys to walk around. No more ups and downs around the house. Never!

And what comes about is:

1. You have a shopping mall beneath your house. ( It's great!)

2. You can get to popular anything you want, even before the day of exam.

3. You can go swimming anytime you want.

4. Gym? yeah.

5. And the house is SMALL!

I know people always dream about big, huge houses where you can have anything and everything.

Swimming pool to pool room. Yeah it sounds great.

But it doesnt when you have to do all the housework and stuffs.Trust me, you won't like it.

That's if you donnt have a maid.

My family doesnt like to have a maid. It kind of like invasion of privacy(?). yupp.

So, small houses are my kind.

If I get to choose, I'll choose central area. It's not that i get to go shopping and all but i like the environment. Not the noisy ones, but the calm ones. yeah.

So today,we walked around a few furniture malls and I have to say that it's nice taking a walk with your family once in awhile. (:

I saw the orange bed and i was shrieking in joy.

If you dont understand the picture above, then lemme explain.

The table at the far back is actually a movable table and you can just bring it all the way to the bed in front of you.

It's so cool?

Dad says my room will be full of custom-made stuffs. And I'm happy. haha.

What can you do? I'm used to big bedrooms and i like to dump stuffs around.

Toys, books. everything. And i like to decorate with my drawings. XD

So it means that my new room has to have furniture that has save-space concept.

If not, i doubt i'm able to place all my things.

This week, i'm totally into biology.

After what Mrs Ng said about the expectations of our class and each of us carrying a high percentage and what not, it kind of freaked some of us out.

Imagine, since you are holding a high percentage in the class of 23 or so, and if your grades arent well, you'll be the one pulling everyone down.

Yet, I think we shouldnt be studying beacuse of that huh?

But! It just rings in my mind when ever i think of biology.

Ugh. This sucks.

School. exams. O level.

This is the first time i actually got so into it.

First. i mind you.

Anyway, prelims' continuing next week.

My birthday as well!

But if you ask me whether i'm excited i'll say no.

I think many will forget since the exams got them crazy.

Most importantly, the results will be out before my birthday.

How great. An early birthay present.

Shant whine further. Maybe I should just hope my results will be a great birthday present huh?

That should be enough. laughs.

But there's still something to be excited.

Avril Lavigne Concert!

My dad bought me the tickets. $135! 0.O

And it's like tommorow? Gosh.

*evil laughter*

I'm Coming~ XD